I've pondered the subject of Jon's father, Dr. Gosselin, for some time. Everything I've heard points toward Jon growing up in a good home. Jon came from a close, loving family. His father was a doctor and Jon went to high school in the wealthiest school district in Berks County. Jon's father role-modeled philanthropy in the community and beyond. How is it that Jon allowed himself to be swept up into a relationship with someone who not only demanded the best of every matchy-matchy thing for the kids but also managed, over time, to systematically cut every member of Jon's family (and some of her own) out of their lives and the lives of the children?
My dental hygienist worked for Dr. Gosselin, and she told me about one time when Jon and Kate brought the twins in for a checkup, back in the pre-sextuplets days. Some locals are open about their dislike of Kate, but this gal wasn't, and I got the feeling it was only because we were talking in an office setting in which I was having my teeth cleaned at the time. She had a way of couching her words to get the meaning across without crossing the line into unprofessionalism. She said that Jon was laid back and casual and Kate was...well, she didn't want to say demanding, but Kate knew what she wanted and she made it clear she expected to get it. Like many other locals I've asked about what Kate is really like, she confirmed that the real-life Kate is more blunt and less considerate than the Kate we've seen on the show.
Last week I was talking with someone else in the medical profession who knew Dr. Gosselin personally. According to her, Dr. Gosselin was hard-working, honest, and a good person. She told me that although Dr. Gosselin was retired, he re-opened his practice after Jon and Kate's sextuplets were born to help provide for his grandchildren financially. He died of a heart attack which some attribute to the stress of trying to help his son's family. [NOTE: A blog reader who was a patient of Dr. Gosselin challenges this story. Her words: "Jon's father did not retire and come back to practice after the tups were born. My kids were patients of his, and continue to be patients of Dr Gordos ( his partner).....he was practicing all along until he had a heart attack."]
During a recent visit to verify that one of my children didn't have swine flu, I asked our pediatrician what she thought of Jon and Kate. Like many locals, she was brimming with opinions. She told me that she knew Dr. Gosselin, Jon's father, and he was a fine man - kind, smart, classy. He was a pediatric dentist who was great with kids, cared about the quality of his work, and gave of his time and resources to help needy kids who couldn't afford dental work. (If I am correct he helped kids with cleft palates, but don't quote me on this.) She said Dr. Gosselin would have been horrified if he'd lived to see what's happened to his son's family. To quote her, "He would have taken Jon to the side a long time ago and put an end to all of this mess."
Now, there's always a chance that all of these impressions of Dr. Gosselin are incorrect. We all know about cases where the neighborhood icon turns out to be a pedophile/serial killer/polygamist/big fat old ratfink. But, considering the smarts of the women who told me that Dr. Gosselin was a great guy, I'm betting he was.
So what happened to Jon? How did he end up so codependent as to allow himself to be streamrolled over by Kate? And to the degree that she actually ended his relationships with the people he loved most? Forget the National Enquirer. Local inquiring minds want to know.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
My Bad
Like I said a couple of posts ago, sometimes I just can't help myself.
The next post will be more thoughtful. I promise.
The next post will be more thoughtful. I promise.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Cutting Jon Slack, No Slack For Kate
Those who have been reading this blog for some time may wonder why I seem to cut Jon more slack than I do Kate. Why do I defend him and not her? The reason is my years of work as a therapist with victims of PTSD caused by childhood abuse, domestic violence and other emotional trauma has led me to view Jon as a victim of emotional abuse.
I believe that Jon is a victim of domestic violence and that the violence started way before even the twins were born. Everyone I've talked to - and it's been several people - who worked with Kate at the hospital years before the kids came along have spoken about how high maintenence, demanding, and controlling she was. She's always been the same old Kate we've seen on the show, only more so, at least before she recently started putting some spin control on it and started acting (as opposed to being "reality") nice (or pitiable) when the cameras are on. And she's still the same old Kate when the camera's aren't on - demanding, narcisistic, and just plain mean. In short, abusive of whoever she wants to be abusive to, unless she wants something from them or she thinks they can further her "career."
It looks to me like Jon never stood a chance. When they met he was younger than Kate, naive, and malleable. The first time Kate saw him at a picnic and decided she wanted him, he was a goner, and she has proudly stated that it didn't even matter to her that he already had a girlfriend at the time. One doesn't have to look far to see her abuse of Jon because years of it are permanently recorded on the show, in episode after episode - putdowns, nasty jokes at his expense, slapping him. If she thought it was okay to treat him that way on camera, in full view of the world, imagine how she treated him in private, without anyone watching. Reports from locals who have been in their Wernersville home say that she screams, throws things and is nasty, mean and cruel, and I believe it. One person told me that a friend who was employed (I won't say what for but I will say it involved household work, not child care) by the Gosselins refused to work there when Kate was home because Kate was so abusive and horrible, but she loved working at the home when Jon was there because he was pleasant and kind. Kate behaves this way in front of the children, either unaware that she is role-modeling unhealthy adult relationship patterns in front of them, or not caring.
Imagine years of emotional abuse in the form of putdowns about everything that makes you you - your appearance, your humor, your thoughts and your feelings. Then imagine your partner being rewarded for abusing you, in the form of national attention and big paychecks. Attempts to assert yourself verbally are ignored or bulldozed over until you know it's no use even trying. Everyone sees her treating you that way and no one speaks up about it or acts as though it is unusual or unwarranted. In short, it is accepted as normal and if you don't like it, there's something wrong with you.
This is the world of the emotionally controlled and abused, and I believe this is the world of Jon Gosselin for all the years he was under the control of Kate. He said, after the public became aware that the relationship had been a sham for some time, that maybe he'd been too passive, and now it was time for him to assert himself. Well, Hell Yes, but by the time he did, it was too little and too late.
Underneath all the tabloid drama, I believe that Jon is basically a good person who waited too long to take control of his own life and has made some unfortunate social choices, but underneath it all, loves his children and has not intentionally hurt anyone. Unfortunately, even though I'm one who tries to be fair and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I cannot say the same for Kate.
I realize I may be in the minority in the above beliefs, but this is my opinion. Your comments are welcome.
I believe that Jon is a victim of domestic violence and that the violence started way before even the twins were born. Everyone I've talked to - and it's been several people - who worked with Kate at the hospital years before the kids came along have spoken about how high maintenence, demanding, and controlling she was. She's always been the same old Kate we've seen on the show, only more so, at least before she recently started putting some spin control on it and started acting (as opposed to being "reality") nice (or pitiable) when the cameras are on. And she's still the same old Kate when the camera's aren't on - demanding, narcisistic, and just plain mean. In short, abusive of whoever she wants to be abusive to, unless she wants something from them or she thinks they can further her "career."
It looks to me like Jon never stood a chance. When they met he was younger than Kate, naive, and malleable. The first time Kate saw him at a picnic and decided she wanted him, he was a goner, and she has proudly stated that it didn't even matter to her that he already had a girlfriend at the time. One doesn't have to look far to see her abuse of Jon because years of it are permanently recorded on the show, in episode after episode - putdowns, nasty jokes at his expense, slapping him. If she thought it was okay to treat him that way on camera, in full view of the world, imagine how she treated him in private, without anyone watching. Reports from locals who have been in their Wernersville home say that she screams, throws things and is nasty, mean and cruel, and I believe it. One person told me that a friend who was employed (I won't say what for but I will say it involved household work, not child care) by the Gosselins refused to work there when Kate was home because Kate was so abusive and horrible, but she loved working at the home when Jon was there because he was pleasant and kind. Kate behaves this way in front of the children, either unaware that she is role-modeling unhealthy adult relationship patterns in front of them, or not caring.
Imagine years of emotional abuse in the form of putdowns about everything that makes you you - your appearance, your humor, your thoughts and your feelings. Then imagine your partner being rewarded for abusing you, in the form of national attention and big paychecks. Attempts to assert yourself verbally are ignored or bulldozed over until you know it's no use even trying. Everyone sees her treating you that way and no one speaks up about it or acts as though it is unusual or unwarranted. In short, it is accepted as normal and if you don't like it, there's something wrong with you.
This is the world of the emotionally controlled and abused, and I believe this is the world of Jon Gosselin for all the years he was under the control of Kate. He said, after the public became aware that the relationship had been a sham for some time, that maybe he'd been too passive, and now it was time for him to assert himself. Well, Hell Yes, but by the time he did, it was too little and too late.
Underneath all the tabloid drama, I believe that Jon is basically a good person who waited too long to take control of his own life and has made some unfortunate social choices, but underneath it all, loves his children and has not intentionally hurt anyone. Unfortunately, even though I'm one who tries to be fair and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I cannot say the same for Kate.
I realize I may be in the minority in the above beliefs, but this is my opinion. Your comments are welcome.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Jon & Kate, Give This Some Consideration!
Love the new cover of O.K.! Magazine...Only problem is, it's way too late.
A Minor Consideration should have been called in as a consultant to the show a couple of years ago. A lot of heartache could have been prevented.
But it's still not too late. TLC, Jon, and Kate, call Paul Petersen, the head of AMC, now! He's an expert on child performers as well as having been one himself, and he's a heck of a nice guy besides.
There's still time to save these kids from further trauma and psychological damage.
In twenty years, when your kids are thanking you for their loving childhoods instead of suing you and crying about you on their therapists' couches, you'll be glad you did.
Another Letter To Jon Gosselin From A Neighbor
Dear Jon,
Great quote from you to E.T. online news on the Internet today:
"What she does on TV, that's her career. I'm happy for her career," the father of eight told "ET." "I hope she can be happy for my career [and] we can have a career on TV, kind of together, but our kids will come off."
C'mon Jon, make it true!
Hugs,
Your neighbor,
Polly
Great quote from you to E.T. online news on the Internet today:
"What she does on TV, that's her career. I'm happy for her career," the father of eight told "ET." "I hope she can be happy for my career [and] we can have a career on TV, kind of together, but our kids will come off."
C'mon Jon, make it true!
Hugs,
Your neighbor,
Polly
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Faster Than a Speeding Kate Gosselin
The story I heard was last Thursday night Jon was "flirting it up" with a server at Wyomissing's Viva, and then after the bar closed he took two (implied hot) girls out to breakfast at 2:30 AM. The following morning he was in Phila at 9 AM for a walk on autism. Then that afternoon he was back in the Reading area, where he "eyed up" the waitresses while having lunch at Hooters.
Here's what bothers me about these reports. What is "flirting it up?" What is "eyeing up?" What's wrong with meeting new people and going out to eat with them after the bars close? And although I am certainly far from a fan of Hooters, let's face it, it ain't about owls.
At this point I really question if Jon can go anywhere without people looking to see if he's trying to stick Mr. Happy somewhere it shouldn't be.
Here's what really offends me: Kate's driver going over 100 MPH to lose photogs the other day, with Kate and the kids in the vehicle. Guess what, Kate? You can't promote yourself all over America and then come home - even to little Wernersville PA - and expect to be invisible. What do you want? Do you want to be a brand, with the photographers and lack of privacy that lifestyle entails? Or do you want to be a regular citizen who can go places without being followed? By now you surely know you can't have it both ways. But whichever way you want it, don't endanger your kids' lives and the life of their mother by playing stupid games with your children inside four tons of steel hurtling at 105 miles per hour.
Here's what bothers me about these reports. What is "flirting it up?" What is "eyeing up?" What's wrong with meeting new people and going out to eat with them after the bars close? And although I am certainly far from a fan of Hooters, let's face it, it ain't about owls.
At this point I really question if Jon can go anywhere without people looking to see if he's trying to stick Mr. Happy somewhere it shouldn't be.
Here's what really offends me: Kate's driver going over 100 MPH to lose photogs the other day, with Kate and the kids in the vehicle. Guess what, Kate? You can't promote yourself all over America and then come home - even to little Wernersville PA - and expect to be invisible. What do you want? Do you want to be a brand, with the photographers and lack of privacy that lifestyle entails? Or do you want to be a regular citizen who can go places without being followed? By now you surely know you can't have it both ways. But whichever way you want it, don't endanger your kids' lives and the life of their mother by playing stupid games with your children inside four tons of steel hurtling at 105 miles per hour.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Free The Gosselin Eight!
Jon's on Larry King Live right now and he's saying all the right things...the kids and family are a priority, his values got off track, etc. Yippee, Jon! Keep up the great work! If you stick to this, in twenty years you are going to be so glad you did, not only for your own sake, but more importantly, for the sake of your children.
A Note To Jon Gosselin
Dear Jon,
I hope this isn't about you being squeezed out of J&K+8, having your income threatened, possibly losing the opportunity to do "fun" things like utilizing hookers in Vegas, or trying to finally show Kate once and for all who really wears the pants.
I hope this is about the welfare of your children.
I hope this is about you valuing the mental health of your children over money.
I hope this is about you wanting to get rid of the cameras and get back to human values that are most important...having fun together, quiet play time, sharing feelings, appreciation of nature, developing family traditions, being goofy just for the fun of it, role-modeling parents who may no longer be in love or even be married but who still treat each other with dignity and respect anyway, appreciating what you have instead of always having to have the best of every high end rich label thing, giving to others who are less fortunate than you, helping your children develop good human values, and settling in to enjoy the wonderful life this small community has to offer you, to name a few...all with no cameras.
I hope.
Sincerely,
Your Wernersville Neighbor
I hope this isn't about you being squeezed out of J&K+8, having your income threatened, possibly losing the opportunity to do "fun" things like utilizing hookers in Vegas, or trying to finally show Kate once and for all who really wears the pants.
I hope this is about the welfare of your children.
I hope this is about you valuing the mental health of your children over money.
I hope this is about you wanting to get rid of the cameras and get back to human values that are most important...having fun together, quiet play time, sharing feelings, appreciation of nature, developing family traditions, being goofy just for the fun of it, role-modeling parents who may no longer be in love or even be married but who still treat each other with dignity and respect anyway, appreciating what you have instead of always having to have the best of every high end rich label thing, giving to others who are less fortunate than you, helping your children develop good human values, and settling in to enjoy the wonderful life this small community has to offer you, to name a few...all with no cameras.
I hope.
Sincerely,
Your Wernersville Neighbor
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
